Depression is Horrible Tonight

My body is failing me and I am becoming more and more of an invalid.  I can’ sleep, sit, stand, or walk; running is quite impossible now.  It started to rain on me yesterday, and I started running reflexively.  Pain, pain, pain and more pain and stopped running after 4 steps and almost fell down with the intense pain.   I don’t think I am going to be here much longer.  My back is broken beyond repair and the pain is impossible to deal with anymore.


I never thought that I would even consider dying at mid-life, but it is a real possibility anymore.   And, because of the pain, I really don’t care if I die tonight.  I am sick of it.  I feel like my life has been wasted. I have played by all the rules: college,grad school, professional life, and a high salary.    I still feel cheated.  My body refuses to repair itself. 


I am miserable, and I don’t care anymore about anything.


About kmandew

Computer Scientists Interested in Solving Problems
This entry was posted in Disease, Drugs, Family, Health and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Depression is Horrible Tonight

  1. kmandew says:

    I feel better now. Pain medicines take away some of the pain,but leave me in a stupor. I feel so stupor right now. 🙂

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