My body is failing me and I am becoming more and more of an invalid. I can’ sleep, sit, stand, or walk; running is quite impossible now. It started to rain on me yesterday, and I started running reflexively. Pain, pain, pain and more pain and stopped running after 4 steps and almost fell down with the intense pain. I don’t think I am going to be here much longer. My back is broken beyond repair and the pain is impossible to deal with anymore.
I never thought that I would even consider dying at mid-life, but it is a real possibility anymore. And, because of the pain, I really don’t care if I die tonight. I am sick of it. I feel like my life has been wasted. I have played by all the rules: college,grad school, professional life, and a high salary. I still feel cheated. My body refuses to repair itself.
I am miserable, and I don’t care anymore about anything.