My level of cynicism has reached such a high level that I don’t think I can be happy anymore. Religion has failed me (long time ago). My drive to get ahead has stalled due to the “good ole boy” club that promotes people who are way less qualified with respect to experience and education. There only skill is “ass kissing”.
The results of my permanent level of uncaring has produced a mind-set that only cares about my little circle of family, and the hell with the rest of the country and mankind in general. I despise the government for which I work. The bureaucracy sickens me; the massive red-tape along with the endless forms and sub-forms to accomplish the simplest of actions is mind numbing. It’s truly a wonder we won any wars. The paper-pushers are the only ones advancing up the corporate ladder. We have a top department manager, of sorts (I can’t say the real job title), seems to have gotten to her high level of achievement by blowing everyone on the way up. She is a complete moron! I know women have used this method, but this woman is such an obvious joke and they pay her over 100k a year to act like a boss. She really sickens my faith in the leaders of this country. I am no longer in her department but her achievements are haled throughout the base. We are doomed if anything she touches becomes crucial to national defense.
I laugh at anyone begging for money anymore. No one ever gave me a damn thing when I was a child. I pulled myself out of the sewer where I grew up; by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I have respect for those who work for everything they have, but these types are far and few. Mostly now, they poor sit and wait for others to take responsibility for their lives. I can’t care for them anymore and I won’t pretend to give a shit about the homeless and poor. I know it’s possible to be in their positions someday, but if that were to happen I would take what I needed. The rich disgust me more anyways.
Yet, the rich continue to place their idiot spawn into CEO positions while we pawns beg for scraps. I have no respect for capitalism anymore. “Hey, fellow snob, my kid just graduated from Harvard (got an easy BullShit degree), let him run that software company, or manage billions of bank dollars. ” This sort of shit should be flushed from the planet along with 103% of the lawyers (meaning those still studying law). They live off the suffering of others like leeches. They don’t contribute to anything good or honest. They sit down and think out how they can screw this person out dollars while keeping most of the case wins money. Hey lawyers, “FUCK YOU, and die!”
I have been blinded for so long with the promise of what we are taught is possible in this country. Capitalism can’t exist unless someone gets screwed. Politicians are on level with lawyers and if I believed in God, I know they would fry in hell.
I have stopped watching TV this year; I no longer go to movies (3 years); no video rentals anymore; screw sports and sporting events; they get none of my money. I have become a money miser.
I think I am becoming like the “mathematics” people who take to the woods for isolation and discard everything representing this bullshit. I guess being a Mathematician brings forth the logic that removes the blinders that shrouds this moribund culture and civilization that have screwed me in so many ways. All for now.